Together with Mieke Kosters we help you to realize your intention to become tighter. Not necessarily by eating healthier, but by creating habits that you can maintain.
“I want to lose weight, but apparently not enough. Otherwise I would.' I often hear this comment, I used to say it myself. It seems that many people think that if they want to be slim enough, they will lose weight.
Research shows that motivation is not that important in practice. In Roos Vonk's book (You are what you do), she discusses a study by Polivy, J. &Herman. They have investigated the false hope syndrome. Conclusion:the greater the motivation to do something, the more people think they will actually do it. But… according to the same research:the extent to which you want something has no effect at all on the actual doing. People overestimate their own intentions and have unrealistic expectations of the process.
Often people start losing weight after a period of overeating. With that full feeling in your stomach, it seems very easy to eat less. You can't imagine, exhausted and all, that the urge to eat will ever become so strong that you can't resist it. Yet that always happens. As a result, you are disappointed with yourself, the process is disappointing and you give up. Oh, I said, I just don't want it bad enough. By now I know that you tell yourself the "I don't want it enough" story because it gives you a good argument for failing your attempt. Then you can wait again until the right moment. You don't have to change anything now, wonderful.
The point is, every time you take another cracker, or another handful of chips or a bag of licorice, you drift further away from your target. The more often you give in to the urge to eat, the stronger it becomes
Yet people remain optimistic. Because a while later you can just think again that you are really going to do it:become slim. You conclude again that last time you didn't want enough, and moreover you had a period with a lot of parties, or you were not feeling well at the time. Fortunately, everything is different now… Right?
Not really. The will to become slim is simply not that important:everyone wants to be slim. What counts is the willingness to do what it takes. Regardless of the amount of parties, what is happening in your life and how you feel.
Somewhere in the past few years I have decided that from now on I will do what I have to do in terms of food. Whether I feel like it or not, feel good or not, motivated or not. I have decided to always take back control of my eating behaviour, even if I have to start over a hundred times.
Ask yourself:are you willing to persevere no matter what? Having a hard time? Start over at least ten times? to ask for help? And so to do what is necessary…
The same research shows that it does have a positive effect to tell others about your intention and to translate it into concrete behaviour. It also helps to set reminders for this.
Do you want to lose weight now? First decide what exactly you are going to do. What is needed? For example:keep track of what you eat in an app, plan your eating pattern, say no to something you like at least three times a day, never eat standing up again, eat less breakfast, serve once, only drink wine on the weekend, alone the tastiest food, consciously choose which drinks you do drink, which ones you don't, take a maximum of three bites, continue after a setback, etc. Be as specific as possible and write down three to five actions.
Question two is:how do you remind yourself of these actions on a daily basis from now on? For example, by hanging the action list at your workplace, following a coaching plan, writing down your successes, putting a daily reminder in your phone, making a mood board and displaying it visibly, sticking stickers on the cupboard, set up your phone, record the actions and listen to them three times a day, etc.
If you are willing to do what is necessary, and you determine concrete actions, which you remind yourself of on a daily basis. Then every moment is the right time to start, to really lose weight:you make this the right time.
Good luck!
Mieke
Mieke Kosters is the founder of Skinnyminds. The approach to stop dieting and dieting and start losing weight permanently through behavioral change.
