This month, alongside Mieke Kosters, founder of Skinnyminds, we'll guide you toward a firmer you. Not just through healthier eating, but by building sustainable habits and shifting behaviors you can stick with long-term.
'If you want someone to change your life? Look in the mirror.'
It Just Isn't Working Anymore
After a workout, I'm chatting with a friend (40+). She used to carry extra weight but is now quite slim—yet she's gained about 6 kilos more than she'd like. "How do you do it?" she asks. "I seriously want to drop those 6 kilos. I exercise a ton, but it doesn't help. I'm careful with food too. Sure, I don't gain more, but nothing comes off. Not a gram. It used to be so much easier. Sometimes I make progress, and the scale drops. But after one slip—like a party—it all bounces back. I feel like I just can't lose weight anymore."
That Constant Battle with Weight and Food "I get it," I reply. "I call this the 'stuck phase.' Most people trying to lose weight hit it eventually. The risk? Frustration leads to giving up or jumping into an extreme diet—neither works long-term."
"I know," she says, "but it nags at me." We laugh. "Seriously, what's your advice?"
Choose and Commit
The heart of the stuck phase is simple: what you're doing isn't cutting it. You pat yourself on the back for 'doing okay' and romanticize the past—whether accurate or not. Those self-justifying and comparing thoughts breed powerlessness. They don't serve you. Believing them guarantees you won't reach your goal. Bottom line: your current actions aren't working. Options? Accept the 6 kilos and move on, or tweak your eating habits further. Both are valid—once you choose decisively. Choosing brings peace; you stop resisting and start acting.
Go All In
If changing, half-measures won't suffice. Real change demands focus. Prioritize weight loss. Be ready for discomfort: hunger, resisting temptations, even setbacks. Persist anyway.
I look at her: "It sounds like you want it easy, quick, tasty, effortless. Keep dreaming."
But It Was Easier Before...
"Yeah, but last time it felt easy and fast," she mutters. "Exactly," I say. "You're idealizing again. You don't want the work now. But success came because you prioritized it fully. YOU DID IT. That's the difference—it felt 'easy' because you committed. 'It doesn't work' is a myth; you just aren't doing enough.
You're not tracking in an app (you think you know it all), not visualizing fresh goals (recycling old ones), not planning concrete actions (vague 'snack less'), quitting at the first hurdle ('I'm too old, the magic's gone'). You're not fully accepting reality. You want the results without the full effort—not then, and not now."
You Say Yes Too Often
She hums thoughtfully. I continue: "I've been there countless times. Want to lose weight but take that third wine, second cookie, chocolate bar? You're disappointed in yourself, then rationalize: 'It was easier before, now I gain fast, no discipline, magic's gone.' Nonsense. Truth: You don't say no—enough.
No Magic Pill
No tricks here—no pill or shortcut to eat less, skip the extra cracker, or choose bed over late-night bites. The power is yours, as you've proven before. Reclaim it. Ignore 'poor me' or 'it doesn't work.' Control your choices. Try saying no three times daily to cravings—it's helped me break through.
Do It—With Effort
I can offer insights, honesty, tips, motivation—but you decide. Want that confident control back: 'I look great, make smart choices, own my eating'? One way: DO IT.
"Lesson over," I joke. "Wine?" "No," she says thoughtfully. "You're right. Sparkling water, then home to plan."
Three weeks later: "–2.5 kilos at my age. Feeling amazing. On track for -6."
Good luck,
Mieke
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Mieke Kosters is the founder of Skinnyminds, pioneering permanent weight loss through behavioral change—no more yo-yo dieting.
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