Would I feel like the Six Million Dollar Woman? That thought crossed my mind as I woke from anesthesia after receiving my new knee with kneecap.
For those born after 1975, The Six Million Dollar Woman was a thrilling '70s TV series. After a tragic accident, Jaime Sommers—played by Lindsay Wagner—had her legs, right arm, and ear replaced with bionic implants, turning her into a superhero. She was a childhood icon for me. At my pre-op consult, I learned the prosthesis might make a metallic clicking sound, fueling my bionic fantasies.
But waking in recovery, I felt nothing like Jaime. A compassionate anesthesiologist had promised a nerve block for minimal pain. Reality hit differently. Agonizing pain tore through my leg, triggering the panic I'd dreaded. Pain is invisible, incommunicable, and isolating. Alarms beeped faster around me. 'Take a deep breath,' a distant voice urged. It didn't help—the panic tightened my chest. 'You're hyperventilating; we're giving extra oxygen,' they explained. It felt like choking. No bionic heroics there. Moving my leg? Impossible.
After consultation, morphine arrived via injection. I sank into blissful pink slumber—pain, panic, beeps faded. Morphine lets you doze while eavesdropping. I've overheard nurses' tales of tricky kids, affairs, demanding doctors. This time: 'Ajax.' As a lifelong fan, I perked up. 'Is that Ajax player out of the OR?' Suddenly alert, I sat up: 'Which Ajax player?' Stunned nurses cited privacy but my curiosity raged. Nearly needed oxygen from excitement. Bionic hearing after all?
Who is Marie-Anne? At 48, married with three daughters, I battle severe cartilage issues from a skiing accident, heredity, and mysterious factors. Biweekly, I blog about my patchwork family, Dutch healthcare, my knees, and more.
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