Does ADHD truly exist, or is it just a label slapped on active kids? Today, Marie-Anne shares her deeply personal experience as a mother navigating this reality.
Marie-Anne: 'My social media feeds are filled with posts questioning ADHD's existence. Experts like psychiatrists, psychologists, and neurologists often claim it doesn't exist, sparking widespread agreement: "Everyone's just busy these days—why label it?" or "Back in the day, no one had ADHD, dyslexia, or autism."
These messages hurt deeply.
They make me sad and feel shortsighted. I've hesitated to write this, but I want to share the other side—for the many children and adults living this daily reality, which isn't always easy.
I'm opening up: My daughter has ADHD.
Is that terrible? Not at all. Does it bring challenges for her and our family? Absolutely—just like a milk allergy, congenital eye issue, or spinal condition. The difference? It's far easier to discuss my other daughter's broken leg in a cast. I call ADHD a taboo. Comments like, "Why label a child? And medication? That's extreme! Have you tried rest, routine, hygiene, and a healthy diet?" come from well-meaning people, but they're common.
You are who you are—and that's okay.
Sometimes, rest and routine aren't enough. My daughter is endlessly energetic, impatient, fidgety, and prone to peer conflicts. Yet she's also inventive, creative, spontaneous, and athletic. She was deeply unhappy, crying after school because friends avoided her. Playdates ended abruptly after an hour due to incidents. Family dinners were battles over sitting still, and her school reports and CITO scores plummeted. One day, she asked, "Mom, do I have ADHD? Everyone at school wonders!" I said, "Sweetie, it doesn't matter—you're perfect as you are."
But she deserved answers, so after thorough testing—including months of observations, school reports, and interviews—we got the confirmation: "Your daughter exhibits every characteristic of ADHD." It was a relief.
Medication trial.
After research, expert talks, and soul-searching, we tried medication. For the first time, she painted focused for two hours on a Sunday morning, beaming with joy. She finally read a book I'd bought years earlier. Sibling and peer relationships improved dramatically. In three months, most CITO scores jumped from 4 to 1 or 2 (1 being the highest). Doubts vanished—decades of data show minimal side effects from Ritalin-like meds. She's had just one hour of headache and sleeps soundly.
Stopping the meds? Not anytime soon.
At a pediatrician check-up, he suggested a month off during vacation. My daughter replied, "I'd rather not, Doc. Without it, kids in Spain might think I'm annoying and not play with me." Tears filled my eyes. My girl, you're wonderful with or without pills, label or not—as long as you're happy. Are we doing it right? I don't know for sure. Is she happier? Undeniably.
For the skeptics: Countless studies validate ADHD. My living proof bounces around our home after 4 PM when the meds wear off. And honestly? I love her bounce!
Who is Marie-Anne? Marie-Anne, 49, is married with three daughters. Battling severe cartilage issues, she's embraced life with a new knee (the other comes next year). Every other week, she blogs about her patchwork family, Dutch healthcare, her knee, and more.
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