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When your maternal instincts fail you and you don't notice

Health! We wish each other regularly. On birthdays and around the turn of the year. We toast to each other's health at beautiful moments or special milestones. But health is not self-evident and your maternal instinct? That could just be wrong. Unfortunately, I speak from experience. I'll take you back to 2008. A year in which we were full of health, but we were faced with a few surprises.

Pregnant! It is Mother's Day 2008 and we see on the pregnancy test that we are expecting our second child. What a gift! This pregnancy is almost identical to the first. Apart from some small, typical pregnancy ailments, I have no problems at all. Just like the oldest, I don't gain much weight and I have a beautiful belly. My maternal instinct is running at full speed and I can take on the whole world! I am enjoying my pregnancy to the fullest. Until the 34 week ultrasound….

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34 weeks ultrasound, maternal instinct and sick baby

During this ultrasound, our baby appears to have a dilated renal pelvis. A dilated renal pelvis is more common during pregnancy, especially in boys. Sometimes it has something to do with a urinary tract problem, such as an outflow obstruction or urine flowing from the bladder back to the kidneys. Usually it is a dilation that disappears on its own.

At almost 37 weeks I had another ultrasound to check. I'm glad everything is being watched closely but expect the dilation to go away on its own. This pregnancy is going so well. It cannot but be good. That's what my maternal instinct says, and you have to follow it. However? After the ultrasound, my boyfriend and I dive into the city for a while. It's almost Christmas. Radiant with happiness, we shop for the last Christmas presents until the phone rings. The obstetrician. Would we like to come by this afternoon? poop. The urge to shop is over and we hurry to the appointment.

Childbirth in hospital

Bad news. It's not as it should be. Not yet. The baby still has a dilated renal pelvis, both left and right. This may still go away on its own after delivery. That chance is very high. The only downside is that I have to give birth in the hospital. That was a huge downer for me. I also gave birth to my daughter at home and that was great!

The midwife explains that delivery in hospital is necessary because the baby needs to be closely monitored after birth, especially the urination behaviour. An ultrasound of the kidneys and urinary tract will also be made after birth to see if the dilation is still there. This happens soon after birth. Because a baby receives relatively little fluid in the beginning and a possible dilation can therefore be missed, another ultrasound follows a week after birth.

Our baby kept it exciting for a while. Ten days after the due date, after a successful delivery, our tough Max was born. Over 4 kilos and brimming with health. So it seemed.

Pediatrician's mistake

The next morning Max got an ultrasound early. The pediatrician would come and tell us what was going on. Unfortunately, that doctor was delayed. Under the influence of raging hormones and my impatient nature, I called a nurse. She told us that the pediatrician allowed us to go home. Delicious. The only bad thing was that we had to give Max antibiotics as a preventive measure. But yes, if that's all.

After a great maternity week, we had to check up in our local hospital after 10 days. The day before, Max had another ultrasound. In good spirits we went to the pediatrician so that she could tell us the good news. How happy I was!

“Good afternoon, sit down. I'll get straight to the point. It's not okay with Max. The dilation is still visible and so large (in millimeters) that Max has to be admitted to an academic hospital.”

From pink cloud to the Ronald McDonald house

WHAT???? Pat boom! We were thrown off the well-known pink cloud there! The pediatrician doesn't beat around the bush. Her colleague had made a mistake last week to send us home with Max. Max had to be admitted immediately. We were still allowed to choose which university hospital. Because of the Limburg roots of my hubby, we chose the university hospital in Maastricht, almost 100 kilometers away. Quickly home, grab some clothes and off to Maastricht. There was a medical team ready to receive us. Max was admitted to medium care and we were checked in at the Ronald McDonald house. How bizarre is this. We didn't know anything. What awaited us?

My maternal instinct failed me

We had not taken this scenario into account at all. Our daughter was able to go to grandparents, who we informed by telephone along the way. We quickly packed a briefcase and now I was sitting at a hospital bed with tears in my eyes and full breasts. My maternal instinct had let me down a lot and that made me very insecure.

We met “our” pediatrician and “our” radiologist. Max was examined and observed. He lay there helplessly in his bed. The doctors said little. Just that I had to eat well and rest to keep breastfeeding going. Max needed that. The babies in that department benefit from a lot of rest, so our presence all day long was not appreciated either. Well trust me, there is nothing more difficult than leaving your child there. How sweet and caring everyone was to our little man.

Night feeding thanks to Ronald McDonald

Fortunately we could retire to our room in the Ronald McDonald house. This fantastic house is adjacent to the hospital and here we had our own room. When Max woke up during the night because he was hungry, the nurse called me. So I could be with him within a few minutes to feed him. As nice as this was, I felt so alone when I walked through those dark, deserted hospital corridors at night. I could cry.

After staying in Maastricht for a week, breastfeeding came to an end. I didn't eat, I ate. Even though I took good care of myself, all the tension had an effect on breast milk. The good news was that we were allowed to take Max home. The renal pelvis was still widely dilated on both sides. He also had a thickened bladder wall. The cause was still unknown.

We went home with a whole laundry list of points for attention, a good dose of antibiotics and new appointments. My maternal instinct went along, but I no longer dared to rely on it.

Max was an exemplary baby. He took his antibiotics faithfully, drank his powdered milk eagerly and pooped the best. And pee, he did occasionally, in large quantities.

Medical examinations, micturition cystogram and renogram

Very regularly Max had to go back to the hospital in Maastricht. His kidney function was closely monitored here. Blood was drawn, urine tested, blood pressure was measured and ultrasounds were made. He also underwent more extensive tests such as a renogram and a micturition cystogram. These are studies in which the doctors can assess the functioning of the kidneys and the drainage of urine to the bladder.

Renogram and micturition cystogram

With a renogram, you are given radioactive fluid through an IV. Simultaneously, a video is made. Keeping still is the magic word in this research.

In a micturition cystogram, contrast medium is injected through a catheter. X-rays of the bladder are then taken. The urination itself is also clearly visible.

Watching your baby go through this is utter hell on earth.

Antibiotics

It didn't sit well. The investigations did not indicate a cause. The chance that Max would outgrow it was therefore still present. For the time being, he had to continue taking antibiotics. The concerns were great. You didn't see anything about Max. A handsome baby who developed superbly. He was also rarely sick. Fortunately, because with every degree of increase we had to ring the bell. How carefree we were with the oldest, how overprotective we became with number 2.

After 15 months Max was allowed to stop taking antibiotics. The dilation had decreased slightly on one side. The flag went out! However, he remained under strict control and my maternal instinct remained vigilant. We made a little party out of every hospital visit. Partly because of this, Max liked going to his lovely doctors, while I always hoped it was the last time.

His health 9 years later

Meanwhile, Max is a cheerful boy of almost nine. Recently we were again in the Academic Hospital of Maastricht. With his dear doctors. For almost 9 years we were received by the same radiologist and the same pediatrician, a nephrologist. And now, after all these years, our pediatrician finally brought some good news:the dilation of the renal pelvis had decreased. CHAMPAGNE! Max now only needs to go to the hospital once a year, and then also to a hospital nearby. A hospital where our pediatrician sometimes also holds consultations.

Finally! I knew it! There couldn't be anything wrong with our handsome boy, could there? It has cost me many tears and sorrows, but in the end I have learned an important lesson. Always stay positive and keep trusting your maternal instinct.

That's why I toast to Max's health, and yours! And on the maternal instinct!