What if you're in your late thirties, freshly single, but still dreaming of motherhood? This is the reality for many women, including journalist Emily (36), who dives into the world of egg freezing to explore her options.
Another birth announcement lands on my doormat—the third in two months. Most of my friends are building families, while I grapple with a sudden breakup. We'd discussed moving in together and kids, but he bailed overnight amid his anxieties.
I've spent weeks in tears—for him, for us, and for a new fear: at 36-and-a-half, is it too late to find the right partner for children? The thought exploded like a bomb. Tinder might help rush things before 38, but that's not what I want. Heartbroken, dating feels exhausting—starting over, building trust, all under ticking-clock pressure.
In past long-term relationships, my partners pushed for kids while I prioritized adventure: travel, exploration, and fun. Motherhood felt distant. But at 35, falling in love, I finally envisioned him as a potential father.
During yet another tearful call with a friend, she suggests: "Emily, why not freeze your eggs? It could ease the future pressure." I'd heard of it vaguely. That night, endless Googling kept me awake. Could I store my eggs, preserving their youthful quality and quantity for later use?
Digging deeper, the reality shocks me. It starts with a blood test measuring AMH levels to gauge egg reserve and menopause timeline. Then hormone stimulation via daily abdominal injections to mature eggs, followed by one or more surgical egg retrievals. The timeline spans months to a year. Costs range from 4,000 to 7,000 euros (varying by punctures and meds), plus 400 euros for freezing and ~40 euros yearly storage. No insurance coverage. Thawing and use mirrors IVF, with up to three cycles reimbursable.
Beyond finances, it's physically demanding. My acquaintance Maria, who froze hers last year, shares: the self-injections left her emotional and unstable, bursting into tears. Retrievals felt like severe menstrual cramps. Still, she doesn't regret it. "It bought me peace," she says. "Dating feels relaxed now—no rush to settle and conceive in two years. It's an 'emergency supply,' though no guarantees."
The 'extra time' appeals, but is it worthwhile? Fertility expert Petra de Sutter, gynecologist and head of reproductive medicine at UZ Gent, author of De makeable baby, compares it to fire insurance: you hope never to need it. At 34, each egg has ~5% chance; 20 eggs yield ~65% odds. Yet 90% of women never use them, conceiving naturally. She advises: try naturally first; IVF's toll is immense—only pursue as last resort.
I underestimated the demands. Egg freezing feels overwhelming.
After reflection, I decide against it. Too costly, too invasive on body and hormones. If it's not meant to be, I'll embrace my freedom and adventures. A new partner may come—or not.
Remarkably, days later, my ex shows up, regretting everything. After making him wait, I take him back—with cautious joy. No more obsessing; I'll live fully. Like Maria, peace comes without the 'backup.' A child would be wonderful, but either way, I'll thrive.
This article first appeared in the January 2018 issue | Image: Shutterstock
