There's no doubt about it, the gym can be a great place to meet new people, and from time to time even those of the romantic variety. So if you've got a crush on that handsome guy on the treadmill or in your Crossfit class, you're not alone. After all, it makes sense that you already have something in common:living an active and healthy life. So far it seems pretty appealing, but there's one thing to keep in mind, and it's important:do you really want to do something about it? That is of course up to you. But before you approach him, there are a few things you should know. Obviously, this is a situation you need to approach carefully – at least if you plan on hitting the gym for more than a day. Here are the do's and don'ts of approaching your gym crush.
Do:Make it about the workouts
The first rule is that it's all about training. Don't go to the gym because you have a crush on someone. Yes, it boosts your motivation, and it's fun, but the main reason you exercise (and his) is to be healthy and in good shape. If you focus on the workout, no matter what happens to your crush, you'll stay healthier and look sexier. Remember, you can take your workouts seriously and still have fun. So make it about the workout - you're doing it for yourself. And if you do, someone will soon notice you.
This is so important that it really cannot be emphasized enough:don't be weird, creepy or stalker-like. While it's okay to admire your crush's body, remember that mirrors are everywhere, so if you don't want to get caught - don't stare. Don't stalk them at the gym, that's scary. The idea is:you want to be as relaxed and casual as possible… and the way you do that is by not analyzing the situation and making a point of it. If you looked at the situation from the outside, it shouldn't be a big deal – just a conversation.
Do:Pay attention to body language
The fact is that some people are open to approaches and others are not. So how do you know if he's open to meeting you? The number one sign is if you both make eye contact and hold it longer than usual. If this happens 3 or more times, that's probably a good sign. And if he smiles at you, you clearly have the green light. On the other hand, he could be so busy with his workout that he just doesn't notice you. Even if you don't get any of the obvious signs, he might still be open to meeting you... and the only way to find out is to take action.
Do :Be kind
If you really want to get to know him, you just have to be friendly. When you see him making eye contact and smiling, smile back and say hi. Build it up slowly, no need to rush things - let it happen naturally. Later you can give some compliments. Soon you'll be having longer conversations, and from there you can gauge his interest and move on if you find he's open to it. In fact, he may be the one to start a conversation! One more thing. If you want to be approached, make yourself approachable – smile, be friendly, have fun… and remember the unspoken rule:if you're wearing headphones, you don't want to be disturbed. Think of it as a 'do not disturb' sign.
Don't try to impress him, don't try to make him like you. If he does, he does, and if he doesn't - that's life. It's much better to just be kind and natural and take it from there. Besides, why should you impress him?
Do:Position yourself for an opportunity
To seize an opportunity, you need to be well positioned. If he's in the weight section, start strength training. If he takes a class, take classes too. Classes are a great way to meet people, including your crush, as they are much more sociable. It's also much easier to approach someone to start a conversation. Another way to approach him is to ask him how many sets he still has to do. Or if he's already done with those weights or the machine.
Do:Time it right
In life, timing can make all the difference. Never interrupt someone who is in the middle of a set. It's dangerous and shows a lack of social finesse – so don't do it. Between sets is good (don't expect him to be in a super mood when he's recovering) or running on the treadmill. In short, use some common sense when choosing the time to approach him.
Don't:Keep the conversation going for too long
When you finally get in touch with him, don't keep the conversation going for too long, especially at the beginning. You're busy, he's busy, keep it short and sweet to start with. As things progress, you'll get a sense of how the conversation is going. In fact, you could even say ahead of time, “I need to get back into my workout right away, but…” just to let them know the conversation won't be long.
Do:Get it out of the gym
If things go well, eventually one of you should suggest doing something outside of the gym. It could be as simple as drinking a coffee or juice, but whatever it is, one of you will have to do it... and don't expect him to be the one to do it. Just evaluate the situation and if it feels right, go for it.
Do:Let it go if he's not interested
Hey, you win some, you lose some. The most important thing you can do if he's not interested is to simply let it go - it's not personal. You took the risk and you are now a stronger person than you were - at least you can move on without regretting not taking action. Stay positive, stay friendly and keep moving forward – he may not be right for you, but someone else is.