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Why are some people always late?


We have all been late for business, private, medical appointments, or any other occasion. This situation is very uncomfortable and we try, often clumsily, to justify ourselves with more or less tangible excuses. Chronic delay does not prioritize the urgency of situations:if we tend to be late often, we are late for all types of contexts. But why do some people seem to cultivate the art of being systematically late? Is it some kind of endearing quirk, or a real psychological disorder? Are chronically latecomers doomed to never be on time, despite the best will in the world?

Everyone can be late from time to time, of course, with unforeseen events often being the cause. We gladly accept these explanations and often sympathize with those who apologize for being late. But what about the people who, on almost every occasion, are not on time? It is then more difficult for everyone to understand and accept excuses that seem very unconvincing. It is very difficult for punctual or very rarely late people to conceive, in a non-pejorative way, of a late person, sometimes perceiving them as inconsistent or frivolous, or conversely, as being selfish, even considering themselves superior (considering at least his time as more precious).

Admittedly, there are cultural differences concerning time and the importance given to the delay, but we are interested here in the general case of the systematic repetition of the delay. For decades, this question has plagued psychologists:what is behind this frequent delay? Several avenues have been put forward, some of which could open the doors to a "cure" of this behavioral burden.

Delay, unconscious will or personality trait?

The first explanation should be sought in psychoanalysis. Chronic retardation could start in early childhood. Freudian researchers cite in particular self-destructive neurotic tendencies or a defect in the early stages of development among the potential causes. For example, a person who has had a parent who is constantly late and minimizes this fact, could almost unconsciously reproduce this pattern, as if to remain loyal to this parent. Indeed, according to psychologists, there are several ways to respond to the family model:repetition, avoidance or compensation. We can also cite a person who self-sabotages:unconsciously afraid of professional success and/or the associated responsibilities, they will be systematically late for professional appointments.

For others, the reason is more to be found in the personal appreciation they have of themselves. Not considering themselves important, unsure of themselves, being on time is not important and would reinforce their negative perception of themselves.

On the other hand, perfectionism could explain certain "types" of delays, especially in terms of deadlines. Psychologists suggest that perfectionism is a form of anxiety about not being perfect or producing imperfect work and therefore disappointing. This anxiety manifests as fear, but rather than overcoming it, some use it as an excuse. Not to mention that the anxiety of perfectionists also forces them to review their work “one last time” several times. A circle that seems to have no end. In addition, perfectionists can fall behind by trying to optimize their time. Instead of leaving early for an appointment, the time they have left is spent on a new task, for fear of inactivity or to feel more useful.

Finally, taking the opposite view of all the reasons mentioned above, latecomers may simply appreciate the attention they get, a way of testing the other and the strength of their affection, unconsciously ensuring the feelings of the other despite their mistakes. Moreover, fans of being late may just be indifferent to the consequences of their being late on others, a symptom of a more general egocentrism.

Whatever the unconscious reason, psychoanalysts all agree that once the reason is highlighted and understood, it would be easier to remedy these uncomfortable situations. Indeed, the person who is late still feels "ashamed" of this behavioral gap in the face of a society advocating punctuality.

Lateness, a psychological disorder partly linked to the perception of time

More than a simple mania, the delay could be a systematic disorder related to the perception of time. The internal clock would be out of sync with that of the rest of the world…

In 2001, Jeff Conte, professor of psychology at San Diego State University, classified people into two main types:Type A, competitive, ambitious people; type B, thoughtful, creative people. Difference in personality literally leads to difference in perspective; the two personalities perceive reality slightly differently. Type B people suffer from optimism bias:they underestimate the difficulty of a task; while type A people suffer from pessimism bias:they overestimate the difficulty of a task. Jeff Conte then asked them to estimate the flow of one minute. Type A people estimated that one minute had passed when the stopwatch had measured 58 seconds. Type B participants estimated that one minute had passed after 77 seconds. Conclusion of the study:chronic laggards underestimate the time it takes to complete the task by almost 40%, according to research. Eternal optimists, they plan far too many activities in far too short a period of time.

According to another study by University of Washington psychologists Emily Waldun and Mark McDaniel (2016), chronic delay may stem, at least in part, from something called time-based prospective memory (TBPM). To test the effect of TBPM, researchers give participants a certain amount of time to complete a task, forcing them to pace themselves to actually do it. Participants have the option to check the clock before the available time runs out. Surprisingly, very few participants do this, the experiments are designed in such a way that it is easy to overlook the benefit of this strategy, being far too busy with the task at hand.

That's exactly what happens when you're engrossed in a task, like reading your many social media notifications, just when you should be getting ready to leave. Result:the 5 minutes you think you spent on your smartphone are actually 20 minutes, and you're late.

In 2003, Jeff Conte linked another personality trait to this chronic backwardness, stemming from the previous one. Perennial laggards are more likely to multitask. In his study, he found that of 181 subway operators in New York, those who preferred multitasking — or polychronicity — were more often late for work. This is because multitasking makes metacognition or awareness of ongoing tasks more difficult. We join the same problem as people who are overly optimistic in their ability to perform several tasks in a given time.

Last hypothesis:the delay could be due to a phobia of being too early. This fear of waiting institutes delay as an alternative. A telling illustration of all the ambivalence of human psychology.

Finally, chronic retardation can be a symptom of a much deeper disorder, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). This is what led, in 2013, doctors at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee, in the north-east of Scotland, to diagnose Jim Dunbar, a 57-year-old Scotsman, "suffering from the disease chronic retardation ". Doctors explain that this "disease" involves the same part of the brain responsible for attention deficit and hyperactivity. The man who “is absolutely unable to arrive on time can therefore not be held responsible for its delays. Quoted by The Scotsman.com, Andrea Bilbow of the National Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service explains:"Chronic delay is a consequence, not a symptom, of an underlying disease, possibly a attention deficit with hyperactivity or functional deficit. These disorders can affect a person's time management. She can't organize her time, or may have difficulty understanding the passage of time, or even doesn't feel it at all ". It should nevertheless be specified that this type of diagnosis is not at all unanimous in the medical world, insofar as no other mental disorder could be identified in Jim Dunbar, and that chronic retardation does not appear in the official textbooks referring to mental disorders.

Wanting to be on time, in a conscious way, would be the solution to being late

Some scientists are trying to develop strategies that can slowly improve punctuality. So, for people who constantly underestimate the difficulty of tasks and the time involved, breaking down an activity into very detailed steps can help them better assess the time slot needed.

A 2012 study also found that asking people to mentally imagine a task before doing it can help them be more realistic about its duration, reports the Wall Street Journal . Laggards also need to realize that they can't be in two places at once and try to plan fewer things further apart. Organizing and planning can be a way to limit your delay, by programming alarms for each change in activity.

Ultimately, we must avoid putting off until later what we can do right away, even if we are reluctant to stop an activity that we like, for which we get involved with too much perfectionism.

Becoming aware of the reasons for delays (too much optimism, too much procrastination, too much perfectionism), and consciously expressing the desire to change one's habits, is a condition sine qua non , according to specialists, to really improve.

When being late is good for your health

Whether it is the result of the unconscious, lack of organization, procrastination or simply the fact of personality, the delay is, for most people who experience it, very little appreciated. Punctual individuals have a very pejorative view of latecomers.

However, the delay would not be so negative, at least for the mental health (but not that of the boss however…), if we consider it as being constitutive of the personality. Researchers at Harvard Medical School have looked into the matter. They discovered that late people not only live happier lives, but also longer. Knowing that stress has a negative impact on health, late people would be "less prone to pressure, less concerned with deadlines and much more relaxed ". And this observation can also be explained physically:“their blood pressure is lower, they present a much lower risk of heart attack and therefore have better cardiovascular health ". Their rate of depression would also be lower, which would contribute to a longer life. Because these people would be, as mentioned before, eternal optimists. The researchers state:“Research shows us that an optimistic attitude early in life can predict better health and lower death rates ". The delay is therefore much more complex than a simple history of timetables.

Finally, are we really late?

As we briefly mentioned earlier, people from diverse cultural backgrounds see behind the words “arriving late », very different realities. In France and northern Italy, being six to seven minutes late still basically means being on time, unlike countries with a strict conception of time management, such as Germany, Switzerland, in Scandinavia, the United States or Great Britain. In cultures with a flexible conception of time, such as the Middle East, Africa, India or South America, time acquires a completely different elasticity. The way society works (overcrowding, heavy traffic, etc.) means that there is hardly any difference between 9:15 a.m. and 9:45 a.m.

American anthropologist Edward T. Hall was one of the first researchers to study how societies differ in their relationship to time. He distinguishes “monochronous” cultures from “polychronous” cultures. For the former, time is considered a tangible reality. He explains:“We say it won, passed, wasted, lost, caught up, long, or we kill it, or it passes. And you have to take these metaphors seriously. Monochronic management is used as a classification system that creates order in life. These rules apply to everything except birth and death .

Conversely, polychronic cultures have a flexible relationship to time, individual involvement and the finalization of transactions. Edward T. Hall writes, "Appointments are not serious in nature and therefore often overlooked or canceled […], because time is more likely to be seen as a point than as a ribbon or a road .

Time management is therefore deeply influenced by historical factors that shape the way we live, work, think and interact with others. A chronic latecomer in France may be seen as a punctual person in other cultures. Nevertheless, through the scientific literature, it appears that the delay is not inevitable. Accepting our personality type, becoming aware of the real reasons underlying our behavior, is the first step towards future punctuality.